Screaming infedelities....

I've learned things i am not supposed to know. 

I'm speechless. our trust on each other was once again threatened. believing in someone requires a huge amount of faith and sacrifice. some may call me stupid for holding on. but i dont care at all. i'm doing everything i can for someone i cant dare to lose. i've decided to endure. i pray to God toplease make all of these hardships worth it. 

“At some point, you just pull off the Band-Aid, and it hurts, but then it's over and you're relieved.” 
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

there's this guy who she was texting clearly stating he was just a friend but that guy is someone who have already confessed his interest in her. the guy was immediately friendzoned but their communication never did stopped. she texts him more often than she texts me. something i cannot grab to understand. she may have find refuge on someone else on those times she decided to stay away from me. she may have subconsciously enjoyed the feeling. but still im choosing to believe in her. 

“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” 
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

we need to set things straight. fix things.

I could have chosen to leave right at that moment but i didnt.. i should have stopped right then and there. i know things will be difficult from here on. i dont know if we can still make this work. 

ive written this blog to straighten my thoughts and summarize what happened today.

as of the moment my head is throbbing in pain because of all the emotional stress, lack of sleep and hunger.

I'll sleep tonight repeating this prayer in my head.

God grant me the serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change; 
Courage to change the things I can;
 And wisdom to know the difference.